Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
