windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
