We're facebook friends in real life
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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