# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
