now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
