I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize