My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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