What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
