Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
