OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Can I color on your dick again?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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