my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
