At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
