i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
