why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
