I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
