ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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