there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
