My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
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