Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
