I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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