Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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