that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
