My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
