My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
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