he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
