my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
