Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize