I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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