Fuck appropriateness.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
