thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize