New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
