She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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