Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
foreskin is a definite game changer
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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