Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
