Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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