i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just threw up on my dentist
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
