his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
we made out on top of his cat.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
