We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
My day in three words: secret purse cake
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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