She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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