we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
