I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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