i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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