hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
