What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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