i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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