That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
