I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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