my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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