I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
