i wish peter jackson would direct porn
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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