Define "chronic" masturbator.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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