you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm sobbing to NWA
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
i out mim tonsoeep
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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