waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize