Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
