How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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