Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
