Sponge bath it is.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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