with your own penis?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
